Monday morsel: "Ready my heart"

After my last post it seems almost fitting (or at least honest) to follow it with one that's full of frustration.  Yesterday at church there was a Sunday-School brunch after the service.  We had prepared Jonathan well in advance, saying that instead of going to the gym for a cookie, we'd stay downstairs and have snack at Sunday-School (a.k.a. "Upstreet").  He seemed quite keen on this idea and mentioned it several times on the preceding day.

When the church service ended, Richard and Allison and I went downstairs to the Upstreet room where we met Jonathan and where everyone was milling around and lining up for food.  Jonathan looked a bit anxious and said, "Gym, cookie."  We said no, we'd stay here for snack.  So we got a spot to sit and then I brought him some food and juice.  He alternately yelled and interrupted every time we tried to chat with someone.  I ate and had coffee, but I can't really remember what it tasted like or whether I enjoyed it.

Afterward we got to the car and headed home.  Jonathan talked repetitively and constantly; every time I tried to answer him Allison kept saying, "Calm voices, please."  We backed in the driveway and he was screaming.  Rich told Jonathan to be quiet, that he was sick of it.  Jonathan started crying.  Allison was almost crying.  I felt like crying:  another attempt to do something different or interesting, ending in frustration and lost tempers and that sense of defeat, yet again.

Once we got inside and took our coats off and Jonathan had a bit of a time-out, things quieted down and the rest of our Sunday was pretty normal.  But  I felt the exhaustion that comes on the heels of a tense experience, and the hopelessness of wondering whether anything will ever change.

Then I remember that it's the beginning of Advent, the waiting time, the time of hope.  So I want to share the words of this song from Steve Bell's Christmas album (written by Lois Shuford).  (You should be able to listen to it HERE.)  They express my state of mind today.

****

Ready My Heart

Ready my heart for the birth of Immanuel;
Ready my soul for the Prince of Peace.
Heap the straw of my life for His body to lie on;
Light the candle of hope, let the Child come in.

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia:  Christ the Saviour is born.

Mine is the home that is poor and is barren;
Mine is the stable of cold and stone.
Break the light to each corner of doubt and of darkness:
Now the Word is made flesh for the birth of me.
 

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia:  Christ the Saviour is born.

 ****

Music and Lyric by Lois Shuford
Ready my heart for the birth of Immanuel
Ready my soul for the Prince of Peace
Heap the straw of my life
For His body to lie on
Light the candle of hope
Let the child come in
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, Christ the Saviour is born 
Mine is the home that is poor and is barren
Mine is the stable of cold and stone
Break the light to each corner
Of doubt and of darkness
Now the Word is made flesh
For the birth of me
- See more at: http://stevebell.com/2007/06/ready-my-heart/#sthash.Atdcdenr.dpuf

Music and Lyric by Lois Shuford
Ready my heart for the birth of Immanuel
Ready my soul for the Prince of Peace
Heap the straw of my life
For His body to lie on
Light the candle of hope
Let the child come in
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, Christ the Saviour is born 
Mine is the home that is poor and is barren
Mine is the stable of cold and stone
Break the light to each corner
Of doubt and of darkness
Now the Word is made flesh
For the birth of me
- See more at: http://stevebell.com/2007/06/ready-my-heart/#sthash.Atdcdenr.dpuf

Music and Lyric by Lois Shuford
Ready my heart for the birth of Immanuel
Ready my soul for the Prince of Peace
Heap the straw of my life
For His body to lie on
Light the candle of hope
Let the child come in
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, Christ the Saviour is born 
Mine is the home that is poor and is barren
Mine is the stable of cold and stone
Break the light to each corner
Of doubt and of darkness
Now the Word is made flesh
For the birth of me
- See more at: http://stevebell.com/2007/06/ready-my-heart/#sthash.Atdcdenr.dpuf

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