Family Demotions

Every now and then you read in Christian magazines or books about the importance of family devotions. These articles usually create an idealized image of angelic looking children seated around the family table, listening reverently as Dad reads a lengthy passage from the Bible and makes profound commentary on the significance of the passage.

Here is the reality in our household: Allison reads the children's Bible aloud after supper. She stumbles over the words "plague of flies" and it comes out "plague of fries." Jonathan is resting his head on his arm, making loud farting noises against his fat forearm, or dropping half-eaten bits of red pepper off the edge of the table. Later, Allison (influenced by her extensive reading of the collected works of Beverly Cleary) might be singing "What a Friend We Have in Beezus" or "Beezus Loves the Little Children".

All I can say is: if God doesn't have a sense of humour, we are in serious trouble and can expect the plague of fries to descend at any moment.