Merry Christmas 2019

It's almost Christmas, and we want to wish you the very best during your holiday celebrations and in the coming year. Here's a little of what's been going on in our family's life in 2019. 

Jonathan is 17 and in grade 12 at KCVI. He is still really enjoying himself there; he is so eager to get on the bus and happy to greet his teachers, EA, and friends throughout the school. His love for garbage, recycling, brooms, and shovels continues unabated, and he spends many happy hours on his iPad looking at garbage-truck videos. 

Allison is 21 now and continuing her studies at Queen's. After taking 10 online credits, she decided she wanted to take Linguistics, which isn't offered online -- so in September she enrolled in her first on-campus course. It's gone really well and she'll continue with that course in January. She's also continuing to enjoy her study of psychology; she had Clinical Psychology in the fall and will take Developmental Psychology in the winter. We're really proud of her determination and hard work.

Richard is still working at Kingston General Hospital, volunteering, and participating in various sports. In this picture he's completing the Kingston Half-Marathon.

I (Jeannie) have continued with my online course work at Queen's and my own writing. I had a few publications this year:

My poem "Departures" (about the death of my mom) was published in Juniper Poetry. Link here.

I had two pieces published in Fathom Magazine: a short essay called "When the Time to Weep is the Time to Laugh" (link here) and a poem called "interceding" (link here).

My prose poem "Along King Street" was published on the Kingston Public Library's Poetry Blackboard, curated by Kingston Poet Laureate Jason Heroux (link here). 

"Along King Street" was also one of five poems selected as part of Kingston's Vibrant Spaces Project: in August the poem was printed on a railing along Kingston's waterfront.

In other Jeannie news, I stopped colouring my hair this spring and went back to my natural gray/silver colour. I have no regrets: it's nice not to have the hassle of colouring, and there's something really freeing about just letting my true self be seen!

Speaking of seeing, I also had eye surgery in September. I had been struggling for a few years with double vision and was finally able to have it addressed surgically. The operation -- in which the muscles at the inside of both eyes were detached, repositioned, and stitched back up again -- was successful, and although the doubling has not been completely eliminated, I now see perfectly with my glasses. I'm really happy I had it done.

2019 was a challenging year in family terms. Rich's mom fell and broke her ankle in May; she spent almost three months recovering in a convalescent unit and was able to return home in August. My uncle Charlie in PEI (Dad's brother) died in July after a lengthy illness, leaving a huge void in all our lives. And in August Dad had a fall and had to be hospitalized; he stayed in hospital seven weeks and then moved to a nursing home in Charlottetown in early October. (I went into more detail about that in this post). Overall he seems to be adjusting well to his new home. 

All these events remind us that life can change quickly, and there isn't always an instruction manual for how to respond. Sometimes we're called to step up and provide help and support in ways we didn't expect; other times we're the ones needing the help and support. In the end, though, family and relationships are the most important thing in life. Some of us may be missing absent loved ones even in the middle of our joyful holiday celebrations. May we experience peace in these bittersweet days and be strengthened by our memories and our faith. 

God bless all of you in 2020.

 

2019: A Year in Books

photo: unsplash

As 2019 comes to a close, it's time for my annual year-end book list. I always enjoy looking back at what I've read, and I hope that if you're looking for suggestions to add to your own t0-read pile or even for last-minute Christmas gift ideas, you'll find this list interesting.

My ratings:
5/5 = Exceptional
4/5 = Excellent
3/5 = Good
2/5 = Okay
1/5 = Poor

FICTION:

All He Ever Wanted (Anita Shreve). I didn't expect to love this novel as much as I did, but I found it completely captivating and so well-written. It's about Nicholas Van Tassel, a stodgy professor in New Hampshire in 1900, who becomes obsessed with a young woman named Etna Bliss whom he meets after a hotel fire. As he reflects years later on their long relationship and the things he did in his effort to win Etna's love, we come to realize that he may not be the most reliable -- or likable -- main character. If you liked The Remains of the Day, you may very well like this. (5/5) (See companion novel Stella Bain below.)

The Custom of the Country (Edith Wharton). And speaking of unlikable main characters: social-climbing society girl Undine Spragg really takes the cake. As she flits from one man and one social stratum to another, desperately trying to secure herself a life of wealth and ease, it's like watching an impending train wreck but not wanting to miss a moment of it. (5/5)

The Dutch House (Ann Patchett). This is the third Patchett novel I've read (besides Bel Canto and Commonwealth) and I love her writing more with every book. She is the kind of novelist you can trust: she gives enough (but not too much) information to keep you turning the pages, and she always takes you somewhere satisfying. This novel is about the close relationship between brother and sister Danny and Maeve, who are forced to fend for themselves when their stepmother kicks them out of the ostentatious home they've grown up in. A really moving and often funny book about family secrets, past hurts, and shared memories. (5/5)

Hannah Coulter (Wendell Berry). This beautiful novel reads like a memoir, as the aging Hannah looks back on her childhood, married life, and parenting with her husband Nathan on a farm in the small community of Port William, Kentucky. Hannah's reflections on agriculture, community, and changing times are wise and touching. (5/5)

Brooklyn (Colm Toibin). This is the novel on which the 2015 Oscar-nominated movie of the same name is based. I saw the movie earlier this year and absolutely loved it, so I wanted to read the novel too. Toibin's understated story of an Irish girl who goes to live and work in Brooklyn in the 1950's is very appealing. (4/5)

The Dearly Beloved (Cara Wall). I enjoyed this novel about the friendship between two couples: two ministers, Charles and James, who are hired to co-pastor a church, and their wives Lily and Nan. As the characters work through their journeys of faith (or lack thereof) over several decades, their lives become more and more intertwined. (4/5)

Olive, Again (Elizabeth Strout). In Olive Kitteridge, Strout's 2008 Pulitzer-winning book of related stories, Olive Kitteridge was the touchstone and central figure. She returns in this similarly-structured new book. Here we meet some of the same characters from Olive Kitteridge and even from Strout's other books. Olive is as irascible and odd as ever, but her impact on the people in her small Maine town is undeniable. I found some of the stories underwhelming, but as the book goes on and Olive is forced to come to terms with many of the losses and indignities of old age, I found myself once again rooting for her and admiring her. (4/5)

Washington Black (Esi Edugyan). This Giller-winning novel is the story of young Washington, a slave on a sugar plantation in Barbados. The eccentric scientist brother of the slave master takes Washington on as his personal assistant; then, when a family crisis occurs for which Washington may be blamed, the two of them escape. The novel takes Washington from the Arctic to Nova Scotia and to London and beyond. The first part of this novel is riveting, but I found the second half, with its many peripheral characters, less interesting -- and Washington is a somewhat opaque narrator. A wonderful book, but in my opinion it didn't totally live up to the hype. (4/5)

The Water Dancer (Ta-Nehisi Coates). This is the first novel by essayist and memoirist Coates, author of Between the World and Me. It's the story of a young Virginia plantation slave, Hiram Walker, who is the son of a white slave owner and a slave woman whom the owner sold when Hiram was young. Hiram has a mysterious power called conduction that allows him to transport across time and space and that makes him a useful worker in the Underground Railroad. The combination of history and magical undercurrents make this a very compelling novel -- and one that would also be interesting to compare with Washington Black, above. (4/5)

Stella Bain (Anita Shreve). This novel, written 13 years after Shreve's All He Ever Wanted (see above), is told from the perspective of Etna Bliss, the main female character in the earlier book. Stella Bain fills in many of the details that the earlier one (being told solely from Van Tassel's viewpoint) didn't give us, so it is worth reading, but it's not nearly as well-written as the first book. (3/5)


NONFICTION:

Becoming (Michelle Obama). I loved this memoir of Obama's journey from a working-class Chicago family to her eight years as First Lady in the White House. As Obama says, "I grew up with a disabled dad in a too-small house with not much money in a starting-to-fail neighborhood, and I also grew up surrounded by love and music in a diverse city in a country where education can take you far. I had nothing or I had everything. It depends on which way you want to tell it." (5/5) 

Educated (Tara Westover). This memoir tells of Westover's tough upbringing in Idaho with Mormon survivalist parents. Westover worked in her father's scrapyard, enduring abuse from him and one of her brothers, until she could leave and go to Brigham Young University and eventually Harvard. The book details her complex and painful relationships with various family members, her struggle to affirm her womanhood, and the challenge of telling one's own story in the face of others' conflicting versions. (5/5)

On Reading Well: Finding the Good Life Through Great Books (Karen Swallow Prior). In this wonderful book, Prior discusses twelve virtues, each one in relation to a particular work of literature, such as Jane Austen's Persuasion and Shasuko Endo's Silence. She shows us that not only does literature contain great examples of virtue (or its absence) but that the actual reading of literature is a way of practicing the virtues. See my full-length review of this book HERE. (5/5)

Love, Henri: Letters on the Spiritual Life (Henri J.M. Nouwen). Nouwen's letters to the many friends and strangers he encountered over the course of his life showcase his compassionate, pastoral heart. They return again and again to the themes on which Nouwen wrote most extensively: vocation, humility, and closeness to Jesus. (5/5)

Once We Were Strangers (Shawn Smucker). Beautiful, gentle, moving book about Smucker's friendship with a Syrian refugee. As Smucker tells us, he started out intending to write one book but ended up writing quite a different one. The one he did write focuses on the beauty and simplicity of friendship, the give-and-take of hospitality, and the universal desire to create a place of safety and security for those we love. (5/5)

The Collected Schizophrenias (Esme Meijun Wang). Wang was diagnosed with schizoaffective/bipolar disorder in her twenties; in this beautifully-written book of essays she discusses her own experiences with mental illness as well as broader topics about the depiction of mental illness in media, crimes committed by the mentally ill, and debates over diagnosis. A fascinating blend of memoir and rigorous research. (4/5)

Dignity: Seeking Respect in Back Row America (Chris Arnade). Arnade left a high-powered job on Wall Street to travel across the U.S., talking to people in McDonald's and coffee shops to document the lives of those in what he calls "back row America." Fascinating personal stories and striking photographs of the poor and marginalized, with commentary on race, privilege, and division in America. (4/5)

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed (Lori Gottlieb). Interesting and entertaining memoir by a therapist whose life falls apart when her longtime boyfriend tells her he no longer wants to get married; her decision to find a therapist of her own to work with through this crisis leads her to new insights on dealing with loss and change and coming to know oneself better. (4/5)

Shameless: A Sexual Reformation (Nadia Bolz-Weber). Bolz-Weber is a Lutheran minister and the author of two previous books of memoir, Pastrix and Accidental Saints. Drawing on her own personal story and the stories of her parishioners at the House For All Sinners and Saints in Denver, Shameless discusses the need for a new and more freeing way to look at sexuality. Bolz-Weber proposes a sexual ethic that is based neither on premarital abstinence nor solely on consent, but on care and concern -- and that puts the flourishing of people ahead of rules that cause them harm. Her primary metaphor is that of a crop irrigation system, whereby the traditional rules may work well for those within the irrigator's circle, but not necessarily for those in the unwatered corners of the field. Excellent book. (4/5)

White Picket Fences: Turning Toward Love in a World Divided by Privilege (Amy Julia Becker). Becker reflects on her upbringing in an upper-class North Carolina family with black staff, her experiences as a parent of a child with Down Syndrome, her realization that "answers to prayer" sometimes have more to do with personal connections than God's blessing, her exploration of how people of colour are (or aren't) depicted in children's books, and more. I love Becker's thoughtful, honest voice. (4/5)

Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts (Brene Brown). This book covers some of the same ground as Brown's previous work -- vulnerability, empathy, trust, and wholeheartedness -- but with a focus on leadership. The real-life examples she shares are, for me, always some of the most memorable aspects of Brown's writing. There wasn't a lot here that was really new, but I did like the section on zeroing in on our two primary values and asking ourselves whether the way we live is reflecting those values. (3/5)

Don't Read Poetry: A Book About How to Read Poems (Stephanie Burt). Many people shy away from reading poetry because they find it daunting and inaccessible. Burt insists that instead we focus on poems and how they speak to one another and to us as readers. (3/5)

Glorious Weakness: Discovering God in All We Lack (Alia Joy). This memoir of Joy's struggles with family poverty, mental illness, doubt, and faith is honest and moving. (3/5)

Lark Rise to Candleford (Flora Thompson). Last year Rich and I watched the TV series of this name, about a small English hamlet and town in late 1800's England. The book -- really a combination of 3 books -- goes into great detail about rural life in that period. I enjoyed seeing the background to the show and encountering some of the quirky real-life characters on whom the fictionalized series was based. (3/5)

Millenneagram: The Enneagram Guide for Discovering Your Truest, Baddest Self (Hannah Pasch). Pasch's irreverent and encouraging guide to the Enneagram system of personality types was a fun read. (3/5)

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This brings us to the end of my list. Thanks for reading it! Let me know in the comments if you've read any of the titles here or if any of them otherwise spark your interest. And if you have your own year-end blog post about what you've read, feel free to link it in the comments! Happy reading in 2020!

New blog name!

In a shocking turn of events, I've decided to change the name of this blog from "Little house on the circle" to "Jeannie Prinsen." 

One reason I made this change is that there are numerous other blogs out there with "little house" names, such as "Little house on the hill" and "Little house on the corner." I also thought it would be easier for people to find my blog if it had my name in the title. And basically I just felt it was time for a change.

But besides the title (and the font!), it's really the same old blog. I haven't been posting much in the past several months--for reasons I've explained in recent posts--but I'm hoping to be more consistent with this in the future. I hope to see you back here again soon. 

Five Minute Friday: UNKNOWN

For the first time in a while, I'm linking up with the Five Minute Friday community, writing for five minutes on a given prompt.

This week's word is UNKNOWN.

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There's a thing going around Twitter right now that says,

There's only ONE MONTH left in the decade. 

What have you accomplished?

When I first read this question I thought, OK, what goals did I set for myself and meet? What projects did I embark on and finish? What aspirations did I strive toward and reach? And I realized I didn't have many of those. 

There were a few small things, like writing poems and having a few of them published. That was gratifying.

But the things that stand out in my mind from the past ten years aren't achievements; rather, they're life-altering passages in my and my family's life:

• My mom's illness, cancer diagnosis, and death in 2014.
• The sale of our family farm.
• The loss (and partial restoration) of a significant relationship.
• The death of my uncle this summer.
• My dad's hospitalization this summer and subsequent move to a nursing home last month.

A decade ago these were all unknowns. I could never have predicted even one of those things -- and I wouldn't have wanted to. Now they're in the past, but they aren't completely over and done with. They've had a shaping effect. They've reminded me of what is really important in life: love and relationships. They've reminded me to help when I can and to accept help when it's offered. They've reminded me that in the valley of the shadow -- the valley of the unknown -- God is with us.

I'm not going to list my decade's worth of accomplishments on Twitter. Instead, I'm going to enjoy the people in my life and do the work I'm called to do, recognizing that the coming decade will have many unknowns of its own to be faced and walked through.

Thanksgiving: gratitude in all life's seasons

It has been a long time since I've written on this blog. There have been many reasons for that. Thanksgiving weekend seems like a good time to get back to it: to provide a few updates of what's been going on and, in the process, give thanks.

Family life has been very, very busy with lots of emotions and details to process. On August 13, five days before our family's trip to PEI, my dad had a fall at home and was taken to the hospital by ambulance. He was admitted and underwent various tests that showed poor heart and kidney functioning. Dad was in hospital the entire time we were in PEI and for several weeks after that. This sudden crisis meant that our PEI vacation had a very different tone to it: I spent several hours in the hospital most days, keeping Dad company, talking to staff, etc. We were glad to be there to support him and help my brother out as well. After consultations with the hospital staff we all concluded it probably was not feasible for my dad to live at home any more, so we had a family meeting at the hospital and submitted an application for a nursing home placement.

In early October, seven weeks after Dad's admission to hospital, he moved to a nursing home in Charlottetown. I haven't been down to see him yet, so I don't know exactly how the transition has gone; but I'm very thankful that this move happened, that he has a place where he can be well cared for. Dad is stoic about all this, as he is about most things. I remember when Mom died and he moved to the apartment, he said, "I'd rather be at the farm, but since I can't be, I'm glad I'm here." There is a lot to be said for that kind of attitude at his time of life. Aging brings so many losses: as a friend said to me the other day, when we're young, change often means an opening up of life and options, whereas when we're older, change often signals a closing down and narrowing. It's not easy. But my dad is a wonderful person and I think he still has a lot to offer the world with his kind, quiet spirit.

Once we returned from PEI at the end of August, it was time for school. Jonathan settled back into high school life like a duck slips into water; he was eager to get on the bus and see his EA, Dylan (who calls Jonathan his "partner in crime"), and to connect with old and new friends. I'm grateful that he likes school so much and is so happy there.

Allison resumed university classes again in September as well. All along she'd been taking exclusively online courses; she'd completed 10 credits after two years of part-time study. But this fall, besides an online course in Clinical Psychology, she's also taking an on-campus course. She decided she wanted to take Linguistics, and that's only offered on campus. So she now goes to campus two days a week for class and tutorial, and is really enjoying the material she's learning. I'm grateful that she chose this new venture all on her own and has been successful with it so far.

On September 9 I had my long-awaited eye surgery (I wrote here about the preparation for that) to correct my double vision, which I've struggled with for a number of years. The surgery was done under general anesthetic and took about two hours. The surgeon detached the eye muscles on the inside corners of both eyes, adjusted their position, and sewed them back up again. I get a little squeamish when I stop and think about that -- but it was actually very straightforward and went well. My eyes were red, runny, and sore for several days, but every day got better. I've had two follow-up appointments and everything is as it should be. The double vision is not (yet) 100% resolved -- it can take a couple of months for the eyes to settle -- but I can now see perfectly with my glasses on, without the stick-on prism I was wearing for six months in preparation for the surgery. I'm thankful. Even if my eyes never reach perfect alignment, the improvement has been amazing.

So it has been a full, stressful few months, but there have been many things to be grateful for along the way. I look out my window at this moment and see multi-coloured trees against a gray sky. A yellow leaf floats to the ground. There is beauty everywhere, in the everyday and in all the seasons of life. 

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

~ Lamentations 3:22-23 ~

Happy Thanksgiving. 

Five Minute Friday: AGAIN

I'm linking up with the Five Minute Friday community, writing for five minutes on a given prompt. 

This week's word is AGAIN.

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This summer I decided to go gray again.

I've been colouring my hair for the past ten years, and I just decided to quit. I was at the point where I needed to colour it almost every three weeks in order for it to look acceptable, and it was getting very tiresome.

Here's what it looked like prior to my decision to quit colouring (pic from 2018):

The last time I coloured it was April 2 of this year. Here's a picture from June 8, two months into the going-gray process:

And one from June 23:

And the latest, from July 25 (front and back):

I've gotten quite a few compliments on how it looks -- many of them from women younger than me. Some women my age have told me they're doing the same thing as I am, while others have said they're "not quite that brave" yet or "can't quite let go." I completely get that. Everybody has to make their own decision, whether it's about hair colour or anything else.

When I decided to do this, I thought I might not like the process or the outcome. I wondered if I'd look at myself in the mirror and gasp, "Oh my gosh, who is that person??!!"

But I haven't had that experience -- quite the opposite, in fact. I find I'm far more accepting of my image in the mirror: I'm not constantly checking my hair, wondering if the gray at my temples is too obvious or if the back is fading faster than the front. I feel more like myself again. It's very freeing.

Is there something you've been thinking about doing that might make you feel more like "you" again? I'd recommend you go for it. You won't know until you try.

What I've been doing - summer 2019 edition

The summer is flying by, and I've been neglecting this blog shamefully.

No, wait: scratch that. No shame, and no shoulds. It's been a busy summer so far, and I just haven't had much opportunity to compose posts. That's life. In this post I'll share a little bit of what I've been up to, under the categories FAMILY, WATCHING, READING, and WRITING.

FAMILY

 

my Uncle Charlie and Aunt Sigga

On July 10 my uncle (my dad's brother) Charlie MacEachern died in PEI after a long illness. His death leaves a huge void in many lives. He was so funny and upbeat, the kind of person who made your day better just by showing up. And he always did "show up" for the people he loved. He was a great support to my dad, calling or dropping by almost daily, and will be very much missed by all of us. 

Uncle Charlie and Jonathan, 2018:

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good"

I was able to go to PEI for Uncle Charlie's celebration of life service; my sister-in-law Caroline suggested we go together in her van, and she visited her sister in Truro, NS while I was on the Island for four days. It was good to be there with my extended family and share memories and stories about my uncle. My brother Lincoln and I sang "You Raise Me Up" at the service; my Aunt Sigga chose this song specifically, and the words are certainly fitting for the kind of person my uncle was to everyone who had the good fortune of knowing him.

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

I am strong when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up to more than I can be.

In news from the other side of the family: my mother-in-law broke her ankle in May, so it's been a long process of recovery for her. After surgery in mid-May, she's been recuperating in the convalescent wing of a retirement home here in town, and hopes to get home to her own house this weekend. We've all pitched in to help support her during this time, but her own determination and upbeat spirits have done a lot to help the recovery process along. 

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WATCHING 

I saw two movies this summer that have already become absolute favourites: 

Brooklyn: based on the novel by Colm Toibin, about a young Irish girl in the 1950's who moves to Brooklyn, New York to work.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato-Peel Pie Society: based on the novel by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows, about a young writer in post-WWII London whose life is changed when she receives a letter from a man from the Guernsey Islands, asking about books and telling her about the Islanders' experience under Nazi occupation during the war. 

I need more movies like this in my life: touching and delightful but with some substance to them. And if they have a large proportion of former Downton Abbey stars (as Guernsey does), so much the better.

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READING 

After watching Brooklyn, I read the novel by Colm Toibin that it's based on; I really enjoyed Toibin's simple storytelling and how the novel captures its place and time so vividly.

I also read Hannah Pasch's Millenneagram: The Enneagram Guide to Discovering Your Truest, Baddest Self. I'm definitely not the target audience for this book, and I don't think I or anyone else has ever applied the word "baddest" to me -- but I liked Pasch's irreverent yet encouraging approach to the enneagram system of personality types.

If you're interested in seeing what other books I've read in the last while, you can check out my June "Quick Lit" post HERE. 

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WRITING 

My poem "Departures" was published this summer in Juniper Poetry, an online journal; you can read the poem HERE. This poem is a special one to me because it's about the death of my mom, so I'm happy that Juniper liked it enough to publish it.

My prose poem "Along King Street" was June's featured poem on our local library's Poetry Blackboard, a site curated by Kingston's Poet Laureate Jason Heroux. You can read the poem HERE. 

"Along King Street" is also going to be featured in an outdoor poetry installation during Kingston's "Vibrant Spaces" event next month. It will be one of five poems displayed along a poetry path -- and in keeping with its subject matter, Jason told me they'll be sure to set it up within view of the windmills. 

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Thanks for stopping by to read this update. I hope your summer has offered you lots of opportunity for rest, recreation, and rejuvenation in just the right proportions. And if you've been reading, watching, writing, or doing anything interesting this summer, let us know in the comments!

June 2019 Quick Lit: What I've been reading

Today I'm joining Modern Mrs. Darcy for Quick Lit, where we share short reviews of what we've been reading.

Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry. 
I have read some of Berry's poetry and the occasional essay, but this was my first foray into his fiction. This is a magnificent book that reads more like a memoir than a novel. As she nears the end of her life, elderly Hannah Coulter reminisces about her life in the Kentucky farming community of Port William: her formative relationship with her grandmother; her youthful, short-lived first marriage; her years married to Nathan and raising three children on the farm; her observations about agriculture, changing times, and community. The whole time I was reading this book I was wishing I'd read it while my mom was still alive so that I could have told her about it. She'd have read it; then she'd have passed it on to Dad; and they'd likely have spent many hours talking about it and connecting with its themes. It's really beautiful. If you're looking for fast pacing and a strong narrative arc, this book won't fit those requirements -- but if you want an uplifting story about ordinary people living ordinary but meaningful lives, this book is for you.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb.  
While Berry's book is a novel that reads like a memoir, this one is a memoir that often feels like a novel. Gottlieb, a therapist, is devastated when her longtime boyfriend ends their relationship because he doesn't want to marry someone with a child. She realizes she herself needs a therapist to work through this crisis and the deeper issues it has brought to the surface. Gottlieb's story of her work with her therapist, Wendell, is interwoven with stories of her own clients as they work their way toward healthier relationships and greater life satisfaction. This book is entertaining, funny, and thought-provoking and will probably provide a few aha moments for any reader.

The Collected Schizophrenias by Esme Weijun Wang. 
Wang was diagnosed with schizoaffective/bipolar disorder as a teenager; in this collection of beautifully written essays, she discusses not only her own personal experiences -- such as how she was essentially pushed out of Yale University because of her illness when she was a student there, or how she uses her knowledge of fashion to help her pass as more put-together and therefore more stable -- but broader themes such as media depictions of mental illness, crimes involving mental illness, and the debates surrounding diagnosis of schizophrenia and related disorders. Wang's blending of memoir and rigorous research makes for a fascinating book.

 Love, Henri: Letters on the Spiritual Life by Henri J.M. Nouwen.  
This is the book I'm currently reading. Nouwen was a prolific letter-writer, and this volume is a collection of letters he wrote to friends and strangers about spirituality, faith, and vocation. This book is more than just a window into an interesting life; reading it is a truly spiritual experience in itself. Nouwen's kind, probing words, his vulnerability and sharing of his own struggles, make you feel like you're in the presence of a trusted friend or spiritual director who, with a few well-chosen questions, will give you new perspective and grounding. Brene Brown's foreword to the book shows that this was her experience too. I'm reading this book slowly and really savouring it.

What have you been reading lately? I'd love to know!

Five Minute Friday: NAME (for Rachel Held Evans)

I haven't written anything on this blog since April 19, Good Friday. Life has gotten in the way: my mother-in-law broke her ankle a few weeks ago, had surgery and was in hospital for over a week, and is now in a convalescent unit getting back on her feet, literally and figuratively. Sometimes creative pursuits have to take a back seat when these sorts of things happen.

As I looked at the Blog Archive section of my blog, I realized that it's been years since I had a month with no posts -- and May ends today! So I'm barely getting in under the wire with today's short post, but it's one I'm glad to write. I'm linking up with the Five Minute Friday community to write about the word NAME -- and about Rachel Held Evans.

If the name Rachel Held Evans isn't familiar to you, she's a writer who explored issues of faith and doubt in her four bestselling books, all of which I've read and reviewed here on this blog: Faith Unraveled (a.k.a. Evolving in Monkey Town), A Year of Biblical Womanhood, Searching for Sunday, and Inspired.

I never met Rachel or even attended a talk she gave. But her books were a window into an intelligent, passionate, questing soul. The Christian faith of her upbringing disappointed her in many ways, but this disappointment challenged her to go deeper: to learn what it really meant to be a woman of faith, a doubter, a lover of Scripture, and a member of the body of Christ. She had many detractors who believed that her support for LGBTQ people and her refusal to accept easy answers about Scripture made her a bad influence. But she inspired many people to keep following Jesus, to keep asking questions and grappling with doubts, to come to Jesus' table in confidence that there was room for everyone.

Rachel died a month ago after being hospitalized for treatment of an infection; a reaction to medication had caused brain seizures and required an induced coma. She was 38 years old and left behind a husband and two small children. Tomorrow her funeral will be streamed live on her website.

Rachel Held Evans' death is a tremendous loss, but her name and voice live on in her writings and in the countless people who were encouraged by her words and her life. She was, to use the Hebrew phrase she championed, a woman of valor: eshet chayil.

Rachel Held Evans, 1981-2019

 

 

Five Minute Good Friday: NEXT

Today I'm linking up with the Five Minute Friday community, writing for five minutes on a given prompt. 

This week's word is NEXT.

I look out my window. The sky is whitish-gray, with darker gray clouds moving across it. Gusts of wind scatter leaves and debris across the street.

We are expecting rain today. It is supposed to start sometime this morning and rain all day and into tomorrow: 30-60 millimetres total before it's all done.

The forecast for Sunday is much better, though.

I wish we could skip the next two rainy, gloomy days and just go straight to Sunday.

Sometimes I feel the same way about Good Friday. It would be so much easier to just skip these next two days -- the increasing darkness and suffering of Good Friday, the silence and emptiness of Easter Saturday -- and go straight to the joy and celebration of Easter Sunday.

But the way of Jesus is through: not around, not over, not under, but through. He walks the road of suffering. He doesn't take a shortcut past the hard parts, the pain and desolation, to get straight to the triumph.

So we wait with him now and over the next hours and days. 

We wait in sorrow and hope. 

We go through.