Five Minute Friday: OBSERVANT

 

Today I'm linking up with the Five Minute Friday community, writing for five minutes on a given prompt. 

This week's word is OBSERVANT.

 

I watched a movie not long ago about an observant person.

The movie's called Paterson, and it's about a bus driver in Paterson, New Jersey who is also named Paterson (the specific reason why is never explained) and who has a "secret life" as a poet.

He carries a notebook with him everywhere and writes his poems in it -- we see the drafts appearing across the screen as he walks to work or drives his bus around the city. He stares at a matchbox while eating breakfast, and that inspires a poem that ends with his love for his wife. He eavesdrops on the conversations of passengers on his bus, stops to listen to a rapper composing in a laundromat, chats with a young girl who has a notebook of her own.

His daily routines are mundane and rarely change, but his inner life is rich. There isn't always a direct connection between what he observes and what he writes; the things he sees and hears are more like compost enriching his creative life.

Our lives are richer when we are observant, when we take notice of the things around us. It's so easy to walk around in a fog, stuck in our heads, preoccupied with ideas and worries and plans. At least it is for me. Simple objects, sounds, and conversations can inspire our creativity. They can also connect us with other people and remind us that we're just a small part of something greater.

 

Five Minute Friday: WORTH (or: Brad Pitt and the Rich Man)

Today I'm linking up with Five Minute Friday, writing for five minutes about WORTH.

(Disclaimer: this is an updated version of a post from my archives.)

Pondering the word WORTH got me thinking about money, and how we make decisions based on what our money is worth or what it will do for us. Ten years ago the Canadian dollar was at par with the American one -- even worth slightly more at one point. Now it's worth 75 cents against the U.S. dollar. Ouch. I've never been a "cross-border shopper," and now I'm unlikely to become one, knowing how little my Canadian dollar will accomplish for me in the States.

Then I started thinking about other, non-monetary "currency" that we try to use, only to find that it won't accomplish what we  had hoped either.

That leads me to one of my favourite movies, Seven Years in Tibet. It's a very interesting story of a real-life Austrian adventurer named Heinrich Harrer, who abandons his wife and young son to go on a mountaineering expedition, ends up in Tibet during WWII, and becomes friends with the young Dalai Lama.

Brad Pitt plays the dashing Heinrich. There's been lots of commentary about Pitt's suitability for the role, how (un?)successful he is in reproducing a German accent, the historical accuracy of the film, and so on. But that's all secondary to me. What interests me most about this movie is that it depicts a person who really changes during the course of the story. And a big part of what precipitates that change is the character's realization that his currency is worthless.

Heinrich's fellow traveler, Peter, is a quiet, plain-looking fellow. The two are an oil-and-water mix, and Heinrich is pretty nasty to Peter at times, though they stick together throughout most of the journey. After escaping a POW camp they take refuge in Lhasa, Tibet. One of the people they meet there is a beautiful tailor named Pema. Both men are instantly taken with her.

On one occasion Heinrich tries to impress Pema by showing her photographs of himself climbing mountains and skiing as a member of the Austrian Olympic team. But Pema (who, we soon realize, is far more interested in the unassuming Peter) cuts Heinrich down to size. She says quietly, "This is another great difference between our civilization and yours. You admire the man who pushes his way to the top in any walk of life -- while we admire the man who abandons his ego. The average Tibetan wouldn't think to thrust himself forward this way."

Heinrich smiles, but he is clearly stung by her words. Ever so slowly, the truth starts to dawn on him: the currency he's been depending on for so long -- looks, adventures, awards, ego -- accomplishes nothing in this place. It's worthless.

The beautiful thing is, though, that he allows this awareness to change him. He becomes a tutor to the Dalai Lama and starts to internalize principles of Buddhism like nonviolence, humility, and harmony with all creation. He becomes a different person who can then go home and reestablish a deeper relationship with the son he left behind.

Contrast this with an episode recorded in Luke 18 and Mark 10, when Jesus is asked by a wealthy man, "What do I need to do to have eternal life?"

Jesus says, "You know the commandments" -- and lists several of them.

The man replies that he has kept all of these commandments for his entire life. I can imagine he is feeling pretty satisfied at this moment, because it sounds like the very currency he's carrying -- good behaviour -- is what's required. And perhaps he sees his wealthy status as another result of that good behaviour -- a reward for being such a good law-keeper. How affirming it would be if Jesus assured him that yes, works and wealth are in fact the keys to eternal life.

But Jesus goes on, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

I think we can get bogged down pretty quickly here and start arguing about whether Jesus' words to the man should be taken as a literal prescription for all people at all times. It seems unlikely that Jesus is saying categorically that selling all our goods is a ticket to eternal life; that would be just another kind of "good work" to earn our way. But I'm not willing to dismiss it as something just for that moment, either: after all, Jesus says the poor are blessed, so maybe he's making a statement that following him will involve humility, detachment from possessions, and solidarity with the poor -- things the man hasn't experienced yet.

But regardless, I do think Jesus is letting the man know that his good deeds and possessions won't achieve what he wants them to. Following Jesus requires something different: faith and trust. The man is hoping he can keep on using the currency he's always relied upon, without having to change. He's not prepared to give everything up and rely on Jesus. As the Mark version tells us, upon hearing Jesus' words "the man's face fell, and he went away sad," choosing not to follow.

I wonder if at some point we all come to the realization that our currency lacks value: our old answers and paradigms have nothing to say to the situation we're in, or our strengths and accomplishments really have no worth in the place we find ourselves.

The question is, do we let this disorienting experience be an opportunity for real change, like Heinrich? Or, like the man who met Jesus, do we allow ourselves to feel a momentary sadness ... but then go right back to the way things were?

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2019: A Year in Books

photo: unsplash

As 2019 comes to a close, it's time for my annual year-end book list. I always enjoy looking back at what I've read, and I hope that if you're looking for suggestions to add to your own t0-read pile or even for last-minute Christmas gift ideas, you'll find this list interesting.

My ratings:
5/5 = Exceptional
4/5 = Excellent
3/5 = Good
2/5 = Okay
1/5 = Poor

FICTION:

All He Ever Wanted (Anita Shreve). I didn't expect to love this novel as much as I did, but I found it completely captivating and so well-written. It's about Nicholas Van Tassel, a stodgy professor in New Hampshire in 1900, who becomes obsessed with a young woman named Etna Bliss whom he meets after a hotel fire. As he reflects years later on their long relationship and the things he did in his effort to win Etna's love, we come to realize that he may not be the most reliable -- or likable -- main character. If you liked The Remains of the Day, you may very well like this. (5/5) (See companion novel Stella Bain below.)

The Custom of the Country (Edith Wharton). And speaking of unlikable main characters: social-climbing society girl Undine Spragg really takes the cake. As she flits from one man and one social stratum to another, desperately trying to secure herself a life of wealth and ease, it's like watching an impending train wreck but not wanting to miss a moment of it. (5/5)

The Dutch House (Ann Patchett). This is the third Patchett novel I've read (besides Bel Canto and Commonwealth) and I love her writing more with every book. She is the kind of novelist you can trust: she gives enough (but not too much) information to keep you turning the pages, and she always takes you somewhere satisfying. This novel is about the close relationship between brother and sister Danny and Maeve, who are forced to fend for themselves when their stepmother kicks them out of the ostentatious home they've grown up in. A really moving and often funny book about family secrets, past hurts, and shared memories. (5/5)

Hannah Coulter (Wendell Berry). This beautiful novel reads like a memoir, as the aging Hannah looks back on her childhood, married life, and parenting with her husband Nathan on a farm in the small community of Port William, Kentucky. Hannah's reflections on agriculture, community, and changing times are wise and touching. (5/5)

Brooklyn (Colm Toibin). This is the novel on which the 2015 Oscar-nominated movie of the same name is based. I saw the movie earlier this year and absolutely loved it, so I wanted to read the novel too. Toibin's understated story of an Irish girl who goes to live and work in Brooklyn in the 1950's is very appealing. (4/5)

The Dearly Beloved (Cara Wall). I enjoyed this novel about the friendship between two couples: two ministers, Charles and James, who are hired to co-pastor a church, and their wives Lily and Nan. As the characters work through their journeys of faith (or lack thereof) over several decades, their lives become more and more intertwined. (4/5)

Olive, Again (Elizabeth Strout). In Olive Kitteridge, Strout's 2008 Pulitzer-winning book of related stories, Olive Kitteridge was the touchstone and central figure. She returns in this similarly-structured new book. Here we meet some of the same characters from Olive Kitteridge and even from Strout's other books. Olive is as irascible and odd as ever, but her impact on the people in her small Maine town is undeniable. I found some of the stories underwhelming, but as the book goes on and Olive is forced to come to terms with many of the losses and indignities of old age, I found myself once again rooting for her and admiring her. (4/5)

Washington Black (Esi Edugyan). This Giller-winning novel is the story of young Washington, a slave on a sugar plantation in Barbados. The eccentric scientist brother of the slave master takes Washington on as his personal assistant; then, when a family crisis occurs for which Washington may be blamed, the two of them escape. The novel takes Washington from the Arctic to Nova Scotia and to London and beyond. The first part of this novel is riveting, but I found the second half, with its many peripheral characters, less interesting -- and Washington is a somewhat opaque narrator. A wonderful book, but in my opinion it didn't totally live up to the hype. (4/5)

The Water Dancer (Ta-Nehisi Coates). This is the first novel by essayist and memoirist Coates, author of Between the World and Me. It's the story of a young Virginia plantation slave, Hiram Walker, who is the son of a white slave owner and a slave woman whom the owner sold when Hiram was young. Hiram has a mysterious power called conduction that allows him to transport across time and space and that makes him a useful worker in the Underground Railroad. The combination of history and magical undercurrents make this a very compelling novel -- and one that would also be interesting to compare with Washington Black, above. (4/5)

Stella Bain (Anita Shreve). This novel, written 13 years after Shreve's All He Ever Wanted (see above), is told from the perspective of Etna Bliss, the main female character in the earlier book. Stella Bain fills in many of the details that the earlier one (being told solely from Van Tassel's viewpoint) didn't give us, so it is worth reading, but it's not nearly as well-written as the first book. (3/5)


NONFICTION:

Becoming (Michelle Obama). I loved this memoir of Obama's journey from a working-class Chicago family to her eight years as First Lady in the White House. As Obama says, "I grew up with a disabled dad in a too-small house with not much money in a starting-to-fail neighborhood, and I also grew up surrounded by love and music in a diverse city in a country where education can take you far. I had nothing or I had everything. It depends on which way you want to tell it." (5/5) 

Educated (Tara Westover). This memoir tells of Westover's tough upbringing in Idaho with Mormon survivalist parents. Westover worked in her father's scrapyard, enduring abuse from him and one of her brothers, until she could leave and go to Brigham Young University and eventually Harvard. The book details her complex and painful relationships with various family members, her struggle to affirm her womanhood, and the challenge of telling one's own story in the face of others' conflicting versions. (5/5)

On Reading Well: Finding the Good Life Through Great Books (Karen Swallow Prior). In this wonderful book, Prior discusses twelve virtues, each one in relation to a particular work of literature, such as Jane Austen's Persuasion and Shasuko Endo's Silence. She shows us that not only does literature contain great examples of virtue (or its absence) but that the actual reading of literature is a way of practicing the virtues. See my full-length review of this book HERE. (5/5)

Love, Henri: Letters on the Spiritual Life (Henri J.M. Nouwen). Nouwen's letters to the many friends and strangers he encountered over the course of his life showcase his compassionate, pastoral heart. They return again and again to the themes on which Nouwen wrote most extensively: vocation, humility, and closeness to Jesus. (5/5)

Once We Were Strangers (Shawn Smucker). Beautiful, gentle, moving book about Smucker's friendship with a Syrian refugee. As Smucker tells us, he started out intending to write one book but ended up writing quite a different one. The one he did write focuses on the beauty and simplicity of friendship, the give-and-take of hospitality, and the universal desire to create a place of safety and security for those we love. (5/5)

The Collected Schizophrenias (Esme Meijun Wang). Wang was diagnosed with schizoaffective/bipolar disorder in her twenties; in this beautifully-written book of essays she discusses her own experiences with mental illness as well as broader topics about the depiction of mental illness in media, crimes committed by the mentally ill, and debates over diagnosis. A fascinating blend of memoir and rigorous research. (4/5)

Dignity: Seeking Respect in Back Row America (Chris Arnade). Arnade left a high-powered job on Wall Street to travel across the U.S., talking to people in McDonald's and coffee shops to document the lives of those in what he calls "back row America." Fascinating personal stories and striking photographs of the poor and marginalized, with commentary on race, privilege, and division in America. (4/5)

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed (Lori Gottlieb). Interesting and entertaining memoir by a therapist whose life falls apart when her longtime boyfriend tells her he no longer wants to get married; her decision to find a therapist of her own to work with through this crisis leads her to new insights on dealing with loss and change and coming to know oneself better. (4/5)

Shameless: A Sexual Reformation (Nadia Bolz-Weber). Bolz-Weber is a Lutheran minister and the author of two previous books of memoir, Pastrix and Accidental Saints. Drawing on her own personal story and the stories of her parishioners at the House For All Sinners and Saints in Denver, Shameless discusses the need for a new and more freeing way to look at sexuality. Bolz-Weber proposes a sexual ethic that is based neither on premarital abstinence nor solely on consent, but on care and concern -- and that puts the flourishing of people ahead of rules that cause them harm. Her primary metaphor is that of a crop irrigation system, whereby the traditional rules may work well for those within the irrigator's circle, but not necessarily for those in the unwatered corners of the field. Excellent book. (4/5)

White Picket Fences: Turning Toward Love in a World Divided by Privilege (Amy Julia Becker). Becker reflects on her upbringing in an upper-class North Carolina family with black staff, her experiences as a parent of a child with Down Syndrome, her realization that "answers to prayer" sometimes have more to do with personal connections than God's blessing, her exploration of how people of colour are (or aren't) depicted in children's books, and more. I love Becker's thoughtful, honest voice. (4/5)

Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts (Brene Brown). This book covers some of the same ground as Brown's previous work -- vulnerability, empathy, trust, and wholeheartedness -- but with a focus on leadership. The real-life examples she shares are, for me, always some of the most memorable aspects of Brown's writing. There wasn't a lot here that was really new, but I did like the section on zeroing in on our two primary values and asking ourselves whether the way we live is reflecting those values. (3/5)

Don't Read Poetry: A Book About How to Read Poems (Stephanie Burt). Many people shy away from reading poetry because they find it daunting and inaccessible. Burt insists that instead we focus on poems and how they speak to one another and to us as readers. (3/5)

Glorious Weakness: Discovering God in All We Lack (Alia Joy). This memoir of Joy's struggles with family poverty, mental illness, doubt, and faith is honest and moving. (3/5)

Lark Rise to Candleford (Flora Thompson). Last year Rich and I watched the TV series of this name, about a small English hamlet and town in late 1800's England. The book -- really a combination of 3 books -- goes into great detail about rural life in that period. I enjoyed seeing the background to the show and encountering some of the quirky real-life characters on whom the fictionalized series was based. (3/5)

Millenneagram: The Enneagram Guide for Discovering Your Truest, Baddest Self (Hannah Pasch). Pasch's irreverent and encouraging guide to the Enneagram system of personality types was a fun read. (3/5)

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This brings us to the end of my list. Thanks for reading it! Let me know in the comments if you've read any of the titles here or if any of them otherwise spark your interest. And if you have your own year-end blog post about what you've read, feel free to link it in the comments! Happy reading in 2020!

What I've been doing - summer 2019 edition

The summer is flying by, and I've been neglecting this blog shamefully.

No, wait: scratch that. No shame, and no shoulds. It's been a busy summer so far, and I just haven't had much opportunity to compose posts. That's life. In this post I'll share a little bit of what I've been up to, under the categories FAMILY, WATCHING, READING, and WRITING.

FAMILY

 

my Uncle Charlie and Aunt Sigga

On July 10 my uncle (my dad's brother) Charlie MacEachern died in PEI after a long illness. His death leaves a huge void in many lives. He was so funny and upbeat, the kind of person who made your day better just by showing up. And he always did "show up" for the people he loved. He was a great support to my dad, calling or dropping by almost daily, and will be very much missed by all of us. 

Uncle Charlie and Jonathan, 2018:

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good"

I was able to go to PEI for Uncle Charlie's celebration of life service; my sister-in-law Caroline suggested we go together in her van, and she visited her sister in Truro, NS while I was on the Island for four days. It was good to be there with my extended family and share memories and stories about my uncle. My brother Lincoln and I sang "You Raise Me Up" at the service; my Aunt Sigga chose this song specifically, and the words are certainly fitting for the kind of person my uncle was to everyone who had the good fortune of knowing him.

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

I am strong when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up to more than I can be.

In news from the other side of the family: my mother-in-law broke her ankle in May, so it's been a long process of recovery for her. After surgery in mid-May, she's been recuperating in the convalescent wing of a retirement home here in town, and hopes to get home to her own house this weekend. We've all pitched in to help support her during this time, but her own determination and upbeat spirits have done a lot to help the recovery process along. 

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WATCHING 

I saw two movies this summer that have already become absolute favourites: 

Brooklyn: based on the novel by Colm Toibin, about a young Irish girl in the 1950's who moves to Brooklyn, New York to work.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato-Peel Pie Society: based on the novel by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows, about a young writer in post-WWII London whose life is changed when she receives a letter from a man from the Guernsey Islands, asking about books and telling her about the Islanders' experience under Nazi occupation during the war. 

I need more movies like this in my life: touching and delightful but with some substance to them. And if they have a large proportion of former Downton Abbey stars (as Guernsey does), so much the better.

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READING 

After watching Brooklyn, I read the novel by Colm Toibin that it's based on; I really enjoyed Toibin's simple storytelling and how the novel captures its place and time so vividly.

I also read Hannah Pasch's Millenneagram: The Enneagram Guide to Discovering Your Truest, Baddest Self. I'm definitely not the target audience for this book, and I don't think I or anyone else has ever applied the word "baddest" to me -- but I liked Pasch's irreverent yet encouraging approach to the enneagram system of personality types.

If you're interested in seeing what other books I've read in the last while, you can check out my June "Quick Lit" post HERE. 

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WRITING 

My poem "Departures" was published this summer in Juniper Poetry, an online journal; you can read the poem HERE. This poem is a special one to me because it's about the death of my mom, so I'm happy that Juniper liked it enough to publish it.

My prose poem "Along King Street" was June's featured poem on our local library's Poetry Blackboard, a site curated by Kingston's Poet Laureate Jason Heroux. You can read the poem HERE. 

"Along King Street" is also going to be featured in an outdoor poetry installation during Kingston's "Vibrant Spaces" event next month. It will be one of five poems displayed along a poetry path -- and in keeping with its subject matter, Jason told me they'll be sure to set it up within view of the windmills. 

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Thanks for stopping by to read this update. I hope your summer has offered you lots of opportunity for rest, recreation, and rejuvenation in just the right proportions. And if you've been reading, watching, writing, or doing anything interesting this summer, let us know in the comments!

The Classics Book Tag

My fellow blogger and book lover Elliott Blackwell recently wrote a post called "The Classics Book Tag" on his blog Begin In Wonder. In that post he answered ten questions about classic books and issued a challenge to others to do the same. Here are my ten questions and answers.

1. What is an overhyped classic that you didn't really like? 

That's easy: Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness. At 55 pages, it is the shortest book I ever hated too much to finish -- and I am sure I had it assigned at least twice in university courses. I think on both occasions I just read the first five pages and the last five pages. I just hated it! I think it is probably an important book to read in the context of discussions about race and colonialization, so someday I may give it another try........................................................ actually no, I probably won't.

2. What is your favourite time period to read about?

Many of my favourite books (not necessarily classics -- yet) are set in/around World War I or II: All the Light We Cannot See (Anthony Doerr), The Light Between Oceans (M.L. Stedman), Everyone Brave is Forgiven (Chris Cleave), The Secret Keeper (Kate Morton), just to name a few.

But I think actually my favourite setting (if not time period) for fiction is rural: whether it's the "good country people" of Flannery O'Connor's fiction, or the Avonlea-dwellers in L.M. Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables series, or the poor migrants of John Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath. I just love reading about -- and writing about -- rural life and the things that go on behind the simple bucolic exterior.

3. What is your favourite fairy tale?

Hansel and Gretel. As a child hearing this story I admired the children's resourcefulness in leaving their breadcrumb trail, and I loved the idea of them nibbling parts of the gingerbread house. I thrilled at the idea of the witch being tricked when Hansel holds out a bone instead of his own finger -- and of course seeing the witch pushed into the oven was great! 

None of the disturbing parts of the story, such as why the children were alone in the forest in the first place, ever bothered me. 

By the way, Jonathan enjoys the PBS show Super Why in which the Super Readers fly into a fairy tale to solve a mystery using the power of words. In the Super Why version of Hansel and Gretel, the children must "ASK FIRST" before biting a piece off the witch's cookie house; once they do, she's perfectly fine with it and doesn't try to eat them at all. (It just  shows you what good manners can accomplish.)

4. What is the classic you are most embarrassed you haven't read yet?

Maybe not exactly embarrassed, but I confess that I have not read any of the great Russian classics except Anna Karenina. I have not read War and Peace, The Brothers Karamazov, or Crime and Punishment. Nor have I read Hugo's Les Miserables -- not Russian of course, but a large novel (in size and influence) that I've yet to read.

5. What are the top 5 classics you would like to read soon?

A Tale of Two Cities by Dickens. It is one of my brother Lincoln's favourites, and he gave me his copy when we were in PEI this summer.

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston.

Cry the Beloved Country by Alan Paton.

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe.

The Custom of the Country by Edith Wharton. I love Wharton's writing, and this is one of hers I haven't read yet.

(Notice how none of these are the same novels as in #4?) 

6. What is your favourite modern book/series based on a classic?

I liked Jane Smiley's A Thousand Acres and David Wrobleski's The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, both based on Shakespeare plays. 

I also enjoyed -- much more than I expected to, in fact -- Jo Baker's Longbourn, about a servant in the home of Pride and Prejudice's Bennet family. It's not a sequel to or a rewriting of the original, just a really good stand-alone novel that someone who'd never read P&P could enjoy.

7. What is your favourite movie/TV version of a classic?

I love the BBC version of Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, with Hattie Morahan and Charity Wakefield as Elinor and Marianne Dashwood.

8. What is the worst classic-to-movie/TV adaptation you've seen?

The worst for me would have to be The House of Mirth starring Gillian Anderson. Anderson does her best, but this movie has serious casting problems. And the writers made an abysmal, nonsensical decision to combine two characters (Gertie and Grace) into one, obliterating one of the most important subplots of the novel. I could go on and on and on, but this is just an awful treatment of one of my favourite novels.

Two other adaptations I strongly disliked were The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (I gave up after half an hour) and Earthsea, based on Ursula LeGuin's wonderful book A Wizard of Earthsea. That one is brutal.

9. Favourite editions you'd like to collect more classics from?

I don't have an answer here; I don't collect any particular versions.

10. What is one under-hyped classic you would recommend to someone?

Make that two -- and they're very different:

Silence by Shusaku Endo - about Portuguese missionaries to Japan in the 1600's.

I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith - about a teenage girl, Cassandra Mortmain, who lives in a tumbledown castle with her eccentric family in 1930's England. I think of Cassandra as a cross between Anne of Green Gables and Jane Austen's Emma. She's delightful.


Well, it's been fun answering these questions. I always enjoy thinking, talking, and writing about books.

Five Minute Friday: SECRET

Today I'm joining the Five Minute Friday linkup, where we write for five minutes on a given prompt. This week's word is SECRET.

Last week I watched the movie The Glass Castle, based on the best-selling memoir by Jeannette Walls, which I'd read a few years earlier. 

Walls' father was a charismatic, alcoholic dreamer with a cruel streak, and her mother was a self-absorbed amateur artist; the family moved ("skedaddled," as the father put it) constantly, often living in deprivation and squalor, until the children were, one by one, able to escape and move to New York City.

The movie was very good. Although it romanticized the father a bit and gave the abusive aspects of both parents less weight than they probably deserved, it showed the lifelong impact of family secrets.

In one scene late in the movie, adult Jeannette, who has established a career as a successful journalist, is at a restaurant with her wealthy husband and a kind older couple with whom the husband hopes to land a work contract. Jeannette has worked to keep her parents and their problems in a secret compartment of her life, and her husband (who calls her parents "insane") supports her in this -- but she is finding it harder and harder to do so. When the older couple ask about her father, Jeannette's husband cuts in, telling the lie the two of them usually tell: that Jeannette's father is "developing a technology to burn low-grade bituminous coal more efficiently." 

Jeannette excuses herself to go the bathroom, and when she returns she tells the older couple the truth: 

"My parents are squatting in an abandoned building on the Lower East Side. They were homeless for three years before that, which is pretty much how they raised us. My dad is not developing a technology for bituminous coal, but he could tell you anything that you want to know about it. He is the smartest man that I know. He is also a drunk, never finishes what he starts, and can be extremely cruel. But he dreams bigger than anyone I've ever met. And he never tries to be somebody that he's not. And he never wanted me to, either."

This admission changes the direction of Jeannette's life. She leaves her husband and the wealthy lifestyle she's been accustomed to and embraces a simpler life more in tune with the kind of person she has always been. She takes her secrets out of the compartment she's placed them in, and is then better able to integrate the good and terrible aspects of her past. She is also able to make some kind of peace with her parents, knowing she can't change them.

There's a saying that "we are only as sick as our secrets." I take this to mean that healing and growth can only happen when we are honest and stop hiding the parts of our selves or our past that cause us shame. As another of my favourite quotes (this one from Dr. Henry Cloud) says, "The truth is always your friend." 

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Five Minute Friday: INSPIRE

Today I'm joining the Five Minute Friday community again, writing for five minutes on a given prompt. This week's word is INSPIRE.

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I was trying to think recently of what we had last summer that is missing this summer, and then it came to me ....

No, I don't mean heat, although that's true, too. I mean the Olympics. 

When we were on vacation out east last summer, we stayed at my aunt's house and spent a lot of our time in the evening watching the Olympics. Sports competition can be so inspiring. Athletes give everything they have to be the best in their sport. They train, they practice, they sacrifice -- just for that chance to be on the podium.

One of my favourite movies of all time is Chariots of Fire. (SPOILER ALERT if you haven't seen it -- though it is 36 years old.)

It's set in the 1924 Paris Olympics and tells the parallel stories of two British runners: Harold Abrahams and Eric Liddell. 

Abrahams is Jewish and is driven to prove himself in a society where he feels looked-down upon.

Liddell is a Christian who postpones missionary work in China so that he can compete in Paris -- only to find out that his heat is on a Sunday. When he refuses to participate, a teammate who has already won a medal gives up his spot in a different race so that Liddell can run. Liddell wins his race, and Abrahams wins his.  

There are so many inspiring moments in this film: it contains all the courage, strength, sacrifice, and determination that the Olympics have come to symbolize. 

But I especially love Liddell's words to his sister, who is worried that he is focused more on running than on mission work:

"I believe that God made me for a purpose -- for China. But He also made me fast -- and when I run, I feel His pleasure."

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If you've never seen this movie, I'd highly recommend it. One of the best parts is the iconic opening scene showing the British team running on the beach. Click on the video below to watch it. 

 

Five Minute Friday: COLLECT

Today I'm joining Five Minute Friday's weekly linkup, writing about the word COLLECT.

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 Yesterday I saw this delightful video clip online, about a man named Mark Orsillo who had lost almost all of his beloved DVD movies (over 300 of them) when his family's home was destroyed in a wildfire. 

His sister went on Facebook to ask for help in recreating Mark's collection, and -- as so often happens with these public requests -- the response was overwhelming. Just take a look at the pile of DVD's Mark received, all from strangers.

For most of us, a DVD collection wouldn't be the top priority after the devastating loss of a home by fire. But Mark's sister knew how much it meant to him -- and the expression on his face when he saw the piles of donated movies proved just how significant it was.

Sometimes when I'm online and the words BREAKING NEWS come up on my Twitter or Facebook feed, I feel a little jolt inside and wonder, "What terrible thing has happened now?" 

A constant diet of crisis and controversy can leave us drained and depressed. Stories like this one about Mark Orsillo remind us that there is joy, generosity, and simplicity in the world. 

Just as Mark glories in his collection of movies, maybe we should make a point of seeking and collecting uplifting, encouraging stories (our own, and those of others) to counter the onslaught of negativity and conflict all around us.

Five Minute Friday: SLOW

Today I'm linking up with Kate Motaung for Five Minute Friday. This week's word is SLOW.

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Richard and I have been watching the Lord of the Rings movies this past week (something I would highly recommend, by the way). In one scene, two little hobbits named Merry and Pippin have escaped their evil captors and taken refuge among the Ents, who are like huge, gnarly trees that can move and talk. The hobbits urge the senior Ent, Treebeard, to gather the other Ents and take action to fight their foes.

But the Ents are ..... SO .... VERY .... SLOW.

Merry grows impatient with their lengthy deliberations. When he asks if they have made a decision, Treebeard says, "No ... We only just finished saying ... good morning."

Merry cries, "But it's nighttime already. You can't take forever. We're running out of time!"

When the Ents finally act, they are strong and fierce -- but it takes them SO LONG. It's hard for Merry to understand why, when the stakes are so high, they don't move more quickly and decisively.

A couple of months ago our pastor gave a sermon on John 11, highlighting this sentence in verse 6: "When Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days."

That's a strange decision too, on the face of it. Lazarus and his sisters are close friends of Jesus. As our pastor pointed out, most people, when they hear a loved one is at death's door, drop what they're doing, pack their bags, and rush to be with the person; they don't hang around for two more days before acting. 

Lazarus's sisters' response when Jesus does arrive shows how bewildered and hurt they are by his sense of timing: "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."

But Jesus has another, higher purpose, as the rest of the chapter shows: Lazarus does die, but Jesus brings him back from the dead. It is an incredible miracle that demonstrates Jesus' power and authority and brings even greater glory to God than preventing Lazarus's death in the first place would have.

I think in our culture we have made an idol of speed -- and not just in obvious ways like high-speed internet or fast cars. When a pressing issue arises, so often we want others to respond instantly, in the exact way we expect them to. And if they take time to deliberate or their priorities don't seem perfectly aligned with ours, we can be so harsh and judgmental.

Maybe we need to stop worshipping at the altar of FAST. Maybe we're not running out of time. Maybe, as Jesus and the Ents show, there is actually plenty of time to take it SLOW and still accomplish what needs to be done.

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Monday morsel, birthday edition: "You've Got a Friend in Me"

Jonathan is 12 years old today.  Happy birthday and lots of love to a friendly, enthusiastic, affectionate boy!

(photo by Ray Vos, July 2014)

For today's "Monday morsel," here is one of Jonathan's favourite songs.  This is from the "Toy Story" soundtrack (you can listen to it here):

"You've Got A Friend In Me"

You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said
Boy you've got a friend in me
Yeah you've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You got troubles and I got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
We stick together, we can see it through
'Cause you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me

Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
But none of them will ever love you the way I do
It's me and you, boy

And as the years go by
Our friendship will never die
You're gonna see it's our destiny
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me

 (photo Richard Prinsen August 2014)

AND here is a video of my friend, singer-songwriter Jeanine Noyes, singing that very song at a garage sale yesterday!