Monday morsel: "forever young"

The other day I was struck by an extreme musical contrast.

On the car radio I was listening to Avril Lavigne's latest song, "[Here's to] Never Growing Up," in which she fondly recounts the things she and her friends did in their younger days:

Call up all our friends, go hard this weekend
For no damn reason, I don't think we'll ever change
Meet you at the spot, half past ten o'clock
We don't ever stop, and we're never gonna change

Say, won't you stay forever stay
If you stay forever hey
We can stay forever young

Singing Radiohead at the top of our lungs
With the boom box blaring as we're falling in love
Got a bottle of whatever, but it's getting us drunk
Singing, here's to never growing up

... and so on.

Now, I never did any of those things when I was young, so maybe that's one reason I don't share Avril's sense of nostalgia. And I know she isn't thirty yet, so maybe even as a twice-married woman she's still spending her nights that way.  But when I listen to those words they seem so empty and pointless.  Do other middle-aged people like me, with kids and houses and meals to prepare and laundry to do, really want to go back to the days when they could "go hard this weekend for no reason"?

Later the same day Jonathan wanted to listen to the Tenors' "Lead With Your Heart" CD.  (He calls it "Hat Tenors" because the cover shows one of the guys wearing a hat.)  One of the songs on the CD is Bob Dylan's "Forever Young":

May God bless and keep you always; may your wishes all come true.
May you always do for others and let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung,
And may you stay forever young.

 May you grow up to be righteous; may you grow up to be true.
May you always know the truth and see the light surrounding you.
May you always be courageous, stand upright and be strong,
And may you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy; may your feet always be swift.
May you have a strong foundation when the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful, may your song always be sung,

And may you stay forever young.

photo Jeannie Prinsen August 2013

I don't know about you, but for me that is a much more appealing picture of youth:  wonder, dreams, courage, joy -- all things I would hope to retain into middle age and beyond.  If that's what staying forever young can mean, it sounds good.

Here's a clip of our wonderful Canadian group, the Tenors, singing this beautiful song.

Monday morsel: "mysteries beyond the visible"

 image: www.freeimages.co.uk

This quotation about writer Emily Bronte is from Margot Peters' Unquiet Soul (a biography of Charlotte Bronte):

"It was Emily's great gift to understand that the spiritual mysteries of life are made tangible in simple, daily, natural things -- snow, hearth fire, gate, wind, stable, heath blossom, linnet.  [Wuthering Heights] is a triumph of realistic art because its clear, homely, concrete detail has the power to evoke mysteries beyond the visible -- mysteries of love, hate, suffering, and the yearning of the spirit for immortality.  In this the novel and poems are like their creator:  at once a homely, simple girl who baked white bread, ironed and starched and sewed, picked the black currants, whistled to the dogs, and lay on her back in the heather to hear the lark's song pouring through the air; and a silent, aloof being whose mind, unfettered from the daily fret and care of ordinary mortals, ranged far into the mysteries of nature to commune with the soul of things -- a shy yet strong creature, curiously compounded of love and hate, kindness and indifference, pride and humility."

re-connecting with friends

This summer I saw three friends I hadn't seen in a long time.

The first friend was a girl I met in grade five and kept in touch with through university, but hadn't seen in at least 15 years.  Having reconnected on Facebook a couple of years ago, we made plans to meet at an art gallery in PEI where she displays the gorgeous hooked rugs she makes.  It was so enjoyable to see her (and her daughter and grandson who'd stopped by as well), to look at her work, and to catch up briefly about mutual friends and our own families.

The second was someone I met at church when we were in our twenties.  The very first conversation we had revealed that we both worked at the university; that led to a lunch date and to a long-standing friendship.  Richard and I hung out with her and her husband for years and enjoyed many post-workout pizza dates and lots of laughter (we just have to mention the Uranus Computer company to start ourselves laughing).  They moved to another city 17 years ago and we don't see them often; it had been at least three or four years.  Richard and I once read in a book about people you have "refrigerator rights" with:  if you were in their house you'd feel comfortable opening the fridge to get something you needed.  (Within reason, of course!)  We feel that way about this couple.  It was great to see my friend again and catch up on family, work, church, and book clubs.

The third was Jonathan's first-ever E.A. at school about six years ago; she now works elsewhere but we still keep in touch.  She was even in my writers' group for a couple of years so we used to meet quite regularly.  After over a year of not seeing one another, we got together for a visit at the end of the summer and spent a couple of hours catching up with her about work and parenting.  It was also a delight for her and Jonathan to see each other after so long.

I treasure my friendships with all three of these women, yet I note the differences in our relationships, too.  Friend #1 and I have few mutual friends and interests now (although in our school days we had many of both):  she has different creative pursuits, and she's at a different stage of life with grown kids and grandchildren.  But we're both Christians and we can give each other encouragement via brief Facebook contact, which I really appreciate.  Friend #2 and I have many mutual friends and could spend hours catching up with "How's so and so doing?"  We also have plenty of memories -- good times and in-jokes as well as some shared struggles -- and we seem able to just pick up where we've left off even after several years.  Friend #3 and I don't have a long history together, but we've had the enjoyment of watching what started as a professional connection turn into a friendship; that's a special thing.  Friendships are truly as unique as the people in them.

After this summer of re-connecting with friends, I feel grateful.

"Depth of friendship does not depend 

on length of acquaintance."

- Rabindranath Tagore

Monday morsel (and Twitterature): Purpose, Imagination, Unity

Monday is my day for quotes on this blog -- a.k.a. "Monday morsels"-- and this Monday also coincides with Modern Mrs. Darcy's monthly "Twitterature" linkup where we share what we've been reading.  (I love "Twitterature," but believe me, I couldn't keep up if it happened any oftener!)

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1.  I just finished reading Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls.  (I read her memoir The Glass Castle some time ago.)  This "true life novel" is the story of Walls' maternal grandmother, Lily Casey Smith.  Lily grew up in Texas and Arizona and became a horse-breaker at age 5 and a travelling schoolteacher at age 15, then later a rancher and pilot.  I can't say this book particularly moved me:  Walls speaks in Lily's voice, adopting a certain "when the going gets tough, the tough get going" style that can prevent the reader from making a strong emotional connection.  But the details are fascinating, and I liked Glass Castle so much that I found it extremely interesting to learn more about another eccentric member of Walls' family.  Lily was, as Walls herself puts it, quite a character:  tough, driven, and fearless.  In this excerpt, Lily has just suffered a ruptured appendix in a baseball game and is now in hospital:

"Don't worry, angel," [Dad] said.  The appendix, he explained, was a vestigial organ, which meant it had no Purpose.  If I had to lose an organ, I'd chosen the right one.  But, he went on, I'd almost lost my life, and to what end?  I'd only been playing a game of baseball.  If I wanted to risk my life, I should do it for a Purpose.  I decided Dad was right.  All I had to do was figure out what my Purpose was.

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2.  I'm re-reading Jane Eyre as part of a synchro-read with Classical Quest.  I first read JE as a  university student and have returned to it several times since.  It is such a wonderful book, gripping readers right from the gloomy opening sentences and drawing them right into the heart of a strong, passionate character.  For a great quote, see my "Monday morsel" post from last week:   "... the restlessness was in my nature ...".

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3.  In conjunction with Jane Eyre, I'm also re-reading Margot Peters' biography of Charlotte Bronte:  Unquiet Soul.  I love reading about the Bronte sisters, whose lives of reclusive obscurity belied the worldwide fame of their books -- and especially about how Charlotte's own life and personality informed her novels.  This book makes me want to read more biographies of the sisters.

The death of their mother was a deeply traumatic experience for the six young Bronte children.... It created in all the children an insecurity so severe that it can be said without exaggeration that all their lives not one of them was able to cope successfully with the world outside the parsonage walls.  At the same time, it drove them together; they clung to each other like tender vines, deriving all their comfort and strength from their intense emotional and physical unity.

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What? God doesn't make TVs?

My friend Kathryn has started a blog entitled "Kids Pray the Darndest Things", which chronicles the hilarious bedtime prayers of her son Oliver (a.k.a. Captain Triangle-Eyes). 

Here's one to whet your appetite:

"Dear God, thank you for the nice day. Thanks for all the things that you make for us, like… [Mom, does God make TVs? He doesn't? Well who does? Just PEOPLE?] Well I don’t know then. [sigh] In Jesus’ name, amen."

Be sure to check it out!